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She seems rather on edge and sends me a text message at the time we're due to meet asking why I'm using the website.I reply, telling her to come over and ask me face to face. She looks furtively around and asks me if I'm nervous. There is tension in the air like North and South Korea coming together to hammer out a treaty.She wants instant gratification even though we've exchanged only a few words online.But in the modern world, in which the internet has become a vehicle for all manner of impropriety, she regards this kind of behaviour as perfectly acceptable.

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Reading between the lines, I suspect she wants to meet again.

I wonder if anyone has ever read this, seen the wisdom of it and decided not to join. "I'm witty, charming, handsome and modest, and I'm kind to animals," I write, hoping this description will have a fairly broad appeal, and also include a recent photograph.

Your picture can be viewed only if you give a password to the person with whom you are conversing.

Our relationship, I note, has suffered because we don't spend enough time together (not surprising really, since she doesn't exist).

After a quick search, I get the measure of the women on the site.

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