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The best I can do is clinch the cheeks and hope that I can suppress the sound and exit, stage left, before the smell engulfed the room. She didn’t really want anything of importance so I go back into the sergeant’s area, where Sgt. We had been discussing how I was going to use up a vacation day, since I came in on my Friday to help him out, even though I was maxed out on vacation time (I hate giving time to the City).

The female comes around the corner and somehow we all get caught up in a dialogue regarding the farting habits of the human race.

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Anyway, this is my embarrassing fart story..believe me when I tell you that I've never had an embarrassing fart story. Now, keep in mind that the only reason I am sharing this story with you is because the details that lead to my unfortunate passing of gas, in a public forum, has apparently already spread like wild fire throughout the station. So, it is around am and me and Sgt, let’s call him Trisket, have just returned from eating at IHOP. Well, we are the only two people back in the Sergeant's area and I can feel the workings of a gas attack.

He had the quick egg breakfast and I had the BLT and fries. Well, being the well-mannered gentleman that my mom raised me to be, I get up and leave the area, so I can pass my gas in private. Because you know some people act like you wanna fall victim to their gas attack.

I don’t like the guy or his divisive race-based politics. ., Newark Mayor Cory Booker discovers he is 47% African, 45% European, and 7% Asian or Native American. Gates says that reveal “always gets an emotional response, positively or negatively.” For example, African-American guests are often surprised at how much European blood they carry and their lack of significant Native American ancestry.

But I gotta give him credit for having the guts to tell the truth about a common myth among Black Americans, something he’s proven to be false in genetic tests he conducts for his Palestinian Broadcasting System show, “Finding Your Roots.” And for showing a form of racial resentment: that many Blacks are disappointed when they learn how much White European blood they have (including Cory Booker, the New Jersey Mayor who recently cuddled up to Muslims and attacked the NYPD for conducting legitimate terrorism investigations that saved American lives). Gates breaks down each of his guests’ racial makeup into a simple pie chart. “It’s the biggest myth in African-American genealogy: ‘My great grandmother was a Cherokee princess,’ ” he says, adding, “The average slave and the average Native American didn’t even see each other, which makes it very hard to mate.” Yup, you’re just another White person like me, not someone whose ancestors wore cool turquoise squash blossoms and used arrowheads in battle.

And my dumb ass would be stuck, riding along with my damn head hanging out the window. Anyhow, once I have vacated the Sergeant's area, I head for one of the side doors, only to realize that I have forgotten my card that gives me access back inside of the station. You know the kind that insist on making its presence know, whether you like it or not. I come clean and let her know that it was not my mind that I was worried about and we both have a nice little chuckle.

I know that already, at the ripe ole age of two, my nephew thinks that breaking wind is the funniest thing in the world.

If he so much as gets a sniff of something not quite right his little butt is quick with the accusations. Lupe was nice enough to let me know that it was the subject of conversation, coming in second only to the officer that falsely reported his car stolen in order to collect the insurance money.

Did it ever occur to any of you that God gave us farts because he thought it was some type of hysterical, practical joke?

C'mon now; gas out the ass..know that shyt is funny.

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