Dating a divorced with kids
Parents may still smart from the sting of rejection divorce inevitably is; they may keep rehashing difficult moments and wondering if they could still rewrite the script; their minds may be preoccupied with making ends meet or other concerns.
Many parents are focused so intently on court cases for custody that, ironically, they spend more time and thought on the case than on the child.
In fact, being more mindful of feelings of warmth and love may provide stress relief and serve as a welcome break from crossing off items on a long to-do list.
Connecting with our loved ones is one of the joys of life, after all. Don’t “compensate” for this rough time by spoiling your child.
What is more likely to lead to improvement is a listening ear and the setting of gentle, understandable limits.
Children may show you how angry they are by not greeting you, ignoring your requests, or even not talking to you for a while.
Even when they are not facing a court battle, if parents are hostile to each other when attempting to co-parent, children may perceive that as some fault of theirs.
But at some point, the dust settles and the child finally begins to become accustomed to a different life with Mom or Dad or some combination. For many parents, however, the single life is not their ideal.
Not only will telling your child how much you love them help reassure the child through difficult times, it will direct attention to your warm feelings towards your child—another great benefit of making this a common practice.
Too often, we think of our softer emotions as a distraction from the business we need to take care of.