Because supply is needed for their survival, they will score it at any cost. You and I know this, but the pathological narcissist cannot accept this.The hunt for validation is an obsession for the narcissist. It’s therefore unsurprising that pursuing substantiation of being such a mythical being is fraught with difficulties that cannot be resolved. This need to allocate people, things, and events into one of the two extremes due to the inability to intellectually integrate both negative and positive qualities in the one entity, is referred to as splitting (for more on splitting read From ‘soul mate’ to worthless: What’s behind the narcissist’s 180? Obviously, the pathological narcissist allocates themselves to the all good/perfect category.In addition to denying the truth, invalidation is used to exert and maintain control over you.Anytime they feel suspicion you may be sniffing out who they really are, by invalidating you, your attention is diverted to refocus on what’s wrong with you.So, we’ve established the narcissist’s obsession for validation of the false-self, in order to deny the real-self, as the driver of their compulsive behaviours (I know it’s a mouthful! Thing is, that whilst they madly try to protect themselves from reality, simultaneously, a level of awareness of their truth shadows their existence.This makes them hyper-sensitive to anything that has the potential to bring this to light.
Unfounded contrariness reaches new heights in the world of the narcissist!Keep your eyes peeled for part two, where the focus will shift to how it impacts on you, and how to narc-proof yourself for the future through self-validation.As human beings, we have basic needs, to be loved and to belong.These social needs are just as essential as other survival needs like food, shelter, and safety.Connection to others and being accepted is at the core of belonging.